读后续写技巧：动作描写有妙招（原卷版）
目录
Part 1 第一个妙招：精准化 ........................................................................................ 2 Part 2 第二个妙招：过程化 ........................................................................................ 3 Part 3 第三个妙招：修辞化 ........................................................................................ 4 Part 4 动作描写的素材积累 ........................................................................................ 5
1. 手上动作的描写................................................................................................ 5 2. 说话的动作描写................................................................................................ 7 3. 脚上动作的描写................................................................................................ 9 4. 与“看、听、说”相关的词块 .......................................................................... 12 5. 与“跑、跳、行走”等相关的词块 .................................................................. 13 6. 动词语料.......................................................................................................... 13 7. 副词语料.......................................................................................................... 15 Part 5 综合模拟演练 .................................................................................................. 16
1． （2023春·广东江门·高三校联考一模） ................................................... 16 2． （2023·湖北·校联考三模） ........................................................................ 17 3． （2022·辽宁实验中学模拟预测） ............................................................. 19 Part 6 高考真题再现 .................................................................................................. 20
1． 2022年新高考1卷...................................................................................... 20
读后续写试题都是要求我们续写人物经历，补充故事情节。同学们在答题中存在的典型问题为：情节构思与前文不连接、续写内容欠丰满、语言表达欠生动等。其中一个重要原因就是，不会根据文章主题和故事发展的需要生动、细致地描写主要人物的动作，导致续写文章情节失真、内容平淡、人物苍白、语言空洞。
下面我就为同学们准备了三个妙招，帮助大家搞定动作描写。
Part 1 第一个妙招：精准化。
怎样使用精准化动作类词汇对动作进行细致描写呢？其实很简单，用一系列小动作而不用大动作，或者用含义比较明确的动词，而不用抽象或虚化的动词来描述，可以使描写更加具体生动。试比较下面两句:
①The little boy said sorry to his mother. 小男孩对他妈妈说对不起。
②The little boy hung his head and mumbled an apology to his mother. 小男孩垂着头，咕哝着向他母亲道歉。
我们来具体分析一下：第一句中“said sorry to”不带任何感情色彩,而第二句中使用了具体化的表示“说”的动词mumbled（咕哝），从而使一个不愿意道歉又不得不道歉的小男孩的形象栩栩如生地复现在读者脑海中。
除了精准选用表示动作的词语，而且要给动词加上适当的修饰成分。适当的修饰语能细致地表达出动作的时间、幅度、速度、力度等，使人物形象更具活力，能更好地表现人物的鲜明个性与思想境界。动作描写中最常见的修饰成分就是状语，如副词、介词短语等。
例如，在体现动作的迅速和短暂时，我们可以添加以下修饰语：suddenly、immediately、without pausing、without delay等。
比如下面两句：
①The wolf also noticed them and turned its head back, shouting at Paul and Becky. 狼也注意到他们，回头朝保罗和贝基大喊大叫。
②At the same time, the wolf also noticed them and fiercely turned its head back, shouting loudly at Paul and Becky.
与此同时，狼也注意到了他们，恶狠狠地转过头，对保罗和贝基大声大叫。
我们来具体分析一下：第二句中加上了at the same time与此同时/ fiercely激烈地/ loudly大声地这三个副词，把这两个人遇到狼这个危险情况生动表达了出来。
至于有哪些重要的副词，可以丰富我们的句子表达呢？在后面的课程中，我们会有专题讲解，请大家耐心等哦。
Part 2 第二个妙招：过程化。
记叙文中有不少动作描写是一连串动作过程的展示。尤其在展示人物个性的动作时,如果我们蜻蜓点水、一笔带过,就很难突出人物形象,也很难给人以深刻的印象,而通过细节描写展现出动作的过程,表现力便会大增。我们来看下面两句:
①She went to catch the butterfly.她去捉蝴蝶。 ②She crept along the path,bent over swiftly and cupped her hands around the butterfly gently.她蹑手蹑脚地走着小路，迅速弯下腰，轻轻地绕着蝴蝶。
我们来具体分析一下：第①句在描写主人公捕捉蝴蝶的动作时,没有细节的动作描写,因此显得很平淡。
而②句运用了creep爬,bend弯腰, cup（使成杯型）三个连贯的动词生动具体地描述了主人公小心翼翼捕捉蝴蝶的微妙过程,具有极强的画面感。因此,在续写过程中,在必要的地方恰当使用一连串的动词来表示过程,能为文章增添不少色彩。
这个技巧，跟我们之前讲解的“动作链构造”是一致的。
此外，我们讲解一下这里的cup这个单词，关于“杯子”的意思，我们再熟悉不过了。在这里，我们使用的是它的动词含义：“使成杯形；把某物放入杯中” ，是不是很形象，因为我们都有类似的生活体验：张开双臂，环绕某个东西。我们借着这个单词强调一点的是：现在读后续写的改卷标准中，不是特别支持过多使用一些超纲的，看似“高大上”上的单词，尽量把我们的3500个单词熟练应用就足够了。
我们来看最后一个妙招：
Part 3 第三个妙招：修辞化。
除了在动词上做调整,还可以利用恰当的修辞手法来帮助描写动作。比喻、拟人、夸张等修辞手法都能让动作描写变得更有表现力。
(1第一组
①The old man’s face wrinkled. 老人的脸皱了起来。
②The old man’s face was like a withered apple. 老人的脸像一个枯萎的苹果。
分析：第②句使用了比喻，不说“皱起来”，而说“像一个枯萎的苹果”，使得脸上动作描述，更加生动形象，更加吸引眼球。
(2)第二组：
①My stomach was aching for not eating on time. 我的胃因不按时吃饭而疼痛。
②My stomach was punishing me for not eating on time. 我的胃在惩罚我没有按时吃东西。
分析：第②句使用了拟人，不说“疼痛”，而说“惩罚了我”，更加生动有趣。
(3)第三组
①When she heard the bad news, she cried.
当她听到这个坏消息时，她哭了。 ②When she heard the bad news, a river of tears poured out.
当她听到这个坏消息时，我泪流如何。
分析：第②句使用了夸张，不说“哭”，而说“泪流如河”，让我们的脑海中，悲伤之情油然而生。
Part 4 动作描写的素材积累
1. 手上动作的描写
1. Stunned, I stood up and gave her an awkward hug / hugged her in an award
way.
2. Speechless, she smiled radiantly and gathered her son into her arms. 3. The nearer it got, the more she waved the yellow blouse wildly .
4. The man took the sacks, reached into his pocket and placed four coins in
Reuben's hand.
5. Then, clutching the tin can, he headed for the shop.
6. He parked down the street from Bobby's house, and rushed to his front door,
trembling with excitement.
7. The man gently wrapped the gift in brown paper and placed the parcel in
Reuben's hands.
8. Dora lifted the lid, tears beginning to blur her vision.
9. Seeing no other people notice us, I placed the Christmas present down and
pounded his doorbell.
10. She didn't say a word, but smiled a watery smile and held my hand tightly.
11. As we shook hands with the new owners, I told them how fortunate they
were.
12. He patted my head, and inquired: “Is there anything particular you want?” 13. He was squeezing my wrist so hard that it ached.
14. She stroked her fingers through my hair, and said: “Of course there is a
Santa Clause.”
15. She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I
opened it.
16. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the
napkins.
17. The class clapped warmly as Mr. Lee presented me with the reward. 18. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a note.
19. Mrs. Damon pointed to the quotation from Albert Einstein hanging on the
wall.
20. Calmly he picked up the brush and
started again to whitewash.
21. She nervously fingered her collar. 22. He stroked the cat and patted the dog 23. She tapped him on the shoulder. 24. He grasped my hand and we ran 25. She grabbed her briefcase and ran to
the bus stop
26. The thief snatched the handbag and
disappeared into the crowd. 27. Press the button.
28. Please handle the goods with great
care。
29. George stood silently with his arms
folded.
2. 说话的动作描写
1. Reuben murmured a thank you and ran home all the way. 2. “Here, Mum! Here!”Reuben exclaimed as he ran to her side.
3. A young man came to the police station, surrounded by a group of journalists,
declaring that he had spotted the murderer.
4. I was getting ready to blow out all the candles and she’s getting ready to help
me in case I ran out of air.
5. “Time to go.” I whispered to the girl, wishing she could follow me right
away.
6. My teammates were all screaming as I dashed toward the finish line. 7. I picked up the ball one last time and grumbled, “Please just come to get the
damn ball.”
8. Frannie quickly told Belle Ringer and the other two drivers about Stevie's
surgery, and then sighed.
9. The house got really noisy at that time, with everybody hollering and
shouting at the top of his voice.
10.“How can I let you throw away the thing that means the most to you?” I
pleaded with him.
11. They let out a surprisingly loud voice.
12. The smile froze on his face; his mouth fell wide open.
13. He interrupted the silence with an announcement: “The deadline to enter for
the Competition is tomorrow.”
14. “I haven’t finished; I need more time,” he begged. “That’s what
Michelangelo said.” Mr. Edgarjoked.
15. She greeted James and inquired. “Are you ready for our field trip?” James
didn’t respond.
16. “What do you think matters for a bird?” Mrs. Damon questioned. 17. He added softly,“I miss you.”
18. Rose scolded the child gently for being naughty.
19. She suggested a walk in the open air and he readily agreed. 20. Students are clearly informed that drugs will not be tolerated.
21. Let me explain what I mean.
22. How can you explain that sort of behavior?
23. “Look, I can’t tell you. Oh, come on, give me a hint.’ 24. “Tell me.” “You must be joking-he’d never believe me.” 25. “Well, there is nothing we can do about it now,”she sighed. 26. As I recall, it was you who suggested this idea in the first place. 27. “I wouldn’t be afraid, “she boasted.
28. Instead of being delighted, she threw the invitation on the table crossly,
muttering
29. By a violent effort she conquered her grief and replied in a calm voice, Ben
stammered out an apology. 30. Finally she replied hesitating
31. She uttered a cry of joy:
32. Then she asked, hesitating, filled with anxious doubt:
33. At the end of a week they had lost all hope. Loisel, who had aged five years,
declared: We must consider how to replace that ornament. 34. Then he began to recount the adventures again. 35. He tried to protest. The entire table began to laugh.
36. Mauchecome stammered: “But since the pocketbook was found.”
37. When he was seated at the table in Jordanian’s tavern, he commenced to
explain “the affair”.
38. He talked of his adventure all day.
39. This man claimed to have found the object in the road.
40. He went along, stopping his friends, beginning endlessly his statement.
41. As he left the mayor’s office, the old man was surrounded and questioned
with a serious curiosity.
42. He inquired: “Is M.Hauchecome, of Breaute, here?”
3. 脚上动作的描写
1. Then Lisa stood up and made her way through the crowd toward me. 2. Lisa planted her feet firmly in front of me. 3. She managed to climb onto it and waited patiently.
4. Reuben ran/rushed down Water Street, trembling with great panic.
5. The shadows were lengthening when Reuben arrived at（动作） the factory. 6. Then, clutching the tin can, he headed for the shop. 7. Racing home, Reuben burst through the front door.
8. Disappointed and frustrated, the poor man made his way back to his family. 9. Suddenly, the woman stood up and entered the house in tears. 10. And yet, they all just stood there staring at me, motionless.
11. Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the
rest of her tables.
12. I led them toward a large corner booth. I could feel the rest of the staff
following behind as we marched through the dining room.
13. I dragged myself through daily chores, feeling exhausted. 14. The elderly man fled away with great panic.
15. The man stepped back/stepped onto the platform to take a good look at the
paintings.
16. He leapt to his feet and rushed out of the living room. 17. He sprung from his chair and rushed to pick up the telephone. 18. He jumped up and rushed out of the living room. 19. She just sat there staring into space 20. The kids sat around a campfire
21. Please remain seated until your name is called. 22. He seated himself comfortably at the foot of the bed. 23. He took his usual seat at the front of the classroom. 24. That man is hurt, he's limping.
25. He was so drunk that he staggered all the way home.
26. She stumbled upstairs and into bed.
27. She tiptoed to the bed so as not to wake the baby. 28. They strolled around the park.
29. They enjoy wandering through the countryside.
30. He paced up and down the platform, waiting for the train.
31. Demonstrators marched through the streets of the city. 32. A baby crawls before he can walk. 33. Paul decided to edge away from the crowd. 34. The cat crept silently towards the bird. 35. The boy sneaked in without paying. 36. I must dash or I'll miss the train. 37. She goes jogging every day. 38. He tripped over the step and fell. 39. The group hiked up to the top of the hill.
40. As I was sitting in the park, I watched as couples seemed to meander around
happily.
4. 与“看、听、说”相关的词块
①listen impatiently不耐烦地听 ②glare angrily at sb.对某人怒目而视 ③glance around/round the room扫视房间 ④stare at凝视 ⑤take a look at看
⑥overhear a funny conversation无意间听到一段好笑的谈话 ⑦remark评论说 ⑧add补充说
5. 与“跑、跳、行走”等相关的词块
①walk across a street步行穿过马路 ②walk arm in arm臂挽着臂走 ③pace back and forth来回踱步 ④jump to one’s feet一跃而起 ⑤walk gracefully步态优美地走 ⑥rush out of the room冲出房间
6. 动词语料
1.伸懒腰；逗某人；快回来；急匆匆地走出去；穿过浅水河；
Stretched one’s tired back; teased sb; hurry back; hurried outside; go /walk across the shallow river;
2.走进去；艾伦冻僵了；一动不动地躺着；挤出来；停下来；出发去做某事；靠边停车；
stepped inside; Alan froze; lay still; squeeze out; paused; set off to do sth; pulled over;
3.抓住某物；跳下车；摇头；习惯了做；
grabbed sth; hopped out of the car; shook one’s head; got accustomed to doing;
4.用纸巾包起来；放在我的电脑旁边；把它扔到垃圾桶里；
wrapped them in a tissue; placed them beside my computer; dropped it into the rubbish bin;
5.大叫；翻白眼走开；大声笑出来；摆出灿烂的笑容；
yelled; rolled one’s eyes and walked away; laughed out loud; put on a bright smile;
6.艾伦的胃绷紧了；喃喃自语；说话；换班；皱眉头；
Alan’s stomach tightened；Muttered sth; Spoke up; Take a shift; Frowned
7..发现沿河的动物足迹；低声说； Spot animal tracks along the river; Whispered;
8.她伸手在口袋里掏出一个白色的小信封。里面是詹妮弗派对的邀请函。 She reached for a small white envelope in her pocket. In it was an invitation to Jennifer’s party.
9. 被绑着；穿过树林；摔倒了；她的心越来越重。注视某人；
Be Tied; Walk through the woods; Dropped; Her heart grew heavier. Keep an eye on sb;
10. 检查；伸手；转过身；勉强地笑了笑；
Checked; Reached over; Turned around; Managed a grin;
11. 当她默默祈祷“谢谢你，上帝”时，喜悦的泪水涌上眼眶 Tears of joy flooded her eyes as she prayed silently, “Thank you, God.”
12.某物吸引了我的注意；当艾丽在天空中搜寻时，一种兴奋的感觉涌上心头。 Sth caught my eye; An excited feeling bubbled up inside Ally as she searched the sky.
7. 副词语料
1. 轻柔地拉Pulled gently;； 2. 不断地constantly； 3. 犹豫地hesitantly；
4. 直视她的眼睛look directly into her eyes； 5. 紧密地匹配closely match；
6. 稍有不同地be slightly different from； 7. 不耐烦地掠过impatiently skimmed； 8. 立即回答answered instantly； 9. 开玩笑地责骂jokingly scolded； 10. 绝对安全absolutely safe； 11. 骄傲地咧嘴笑Grinned proudly； 12. 体贴地放置considerately
placed；
13. 焦急地等待waited anxiously;； 14. 清楚地记得clearly remembered； 15. 呼吸沉重breathed heavily;； 16. 紧握squeeze tightly； 17. 热情地帮助warmly helped； 18. 几乎晕倒nearly fainted；
Part 5 综合模拟演练
1．（2023春·广东江门·高三校联考一模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
When I was a child, my mother told my sister, who had a 10-inch very obvious scar (伤疤) on her arm, “Nancy, if you ignore the scar, other people will ignore it. It does not mean they will not notice it, but it means it will not matter to them if it doesn’t matter to you.”
It never occurred to me that something like this would happen to my son years later. Sending a child off to college can certainly be stressful for concerned parents. It was 2018 that my son went off to college. He rarely contacted us. I couldn’t help asking about other aspects, which sometimes made him complain that I didn’t treat him as an adult.
To be honest, my son is excellent. Some of my friends always tell me that they admire my son’s characters and they hope their sons could have some of them.
Unexpectedly, it was 4 o’clock in the morning in 2020, when I received the phone call. “This is the emergency room calling and your son was just brought in with severe burns on his face, neck and arms. We have called for an aircraft and are going to fly him to the burn unit in Seattle.” Seattle was 350 miles from his college, so we knew immediately this was serious.
The doctor described the reason, which caused the burns. At 6 am, my son and his friends decided to barbecue hamburgers in the courtyard of their apartment. When they lit the charcoal, it burst into flames because they had sprayed too much gasoline. The flames caught my son’s shirt tail and shot from his waist to well over his head.
Fortunately, one of the boys who was quick-minded grasped my son and rolled him on the grass. While it saved his life, it was not in shape to save him from severe burns and the terrible scars.
After he recovered from the treatments, the doctors told him they would not do plastic surgery for 6 months because it takes that long for the skin to stop shrinking and wrinkling.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
The doctors suggested he return to college with scars of severe burns temporarily. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So I told him about Nancy’s childhood.
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2．
（2023·湖北·校联考三模）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
“What will we be singing for the contest this year?” a student from my high school choir asked eagerly.
I worried about this moment. “I was thinking,” I said, “maybe we would skip the contest and just work hard on the concerts this year.”
“NO!” the kids protested. “We’ve got to go to the contest!” “It’s a tradition!”
Indeed, award plaques (牌匾) lined the front wall of the music room from the past successes of large, talented classes. But a change in educational policies, with an emphasis on academics had reduced my choir to a mere thirty-two young,
inexperienced kids who could sing only a simple melody.
“I’ll have to think about it,” I said, hoping their enthusiasm would die off in a couple of weeks. Quite on the contrary, more determined, they begged and insisted every day. To protect their pride, I couldn’t tell them they weren’t good enough. But I wasn’t a miracle worker. And so I hesitated about this dilemma.
Finally one morning I stepped into class. “Look at the clock!” I demanded. “We’ve wasted two full minutes because some of you don’t have your music ready. If we are entering the contest” The rest of my sentence was lost in cheers of delight and applause.
“From now on,” I continued when the noise weakened, “you will find the day’s lesson plan on the board. Make full preparations for each class and follow my instructions absolutely. You will work much harder than you’ve ever worked in any class before. And if one of these rules is broken, we will not go to the contest.”
I was certain they would fail to keep this contract, and no one would be embarrassed. But the kids remained focused, following the rules strictly. Each morning witnessed their diligence: working on sight-reading, learning musical terms, rehearsing, etc. Their progress was so remarkable that even I began believing in their dream.
When the contest day finally arrived, the kids felt ready and confident to take on the world! Their eyes, however, opened wide when the Madison choir marched in seventy-five members strong. My kids’ jaws dropped when 125 students from King School arrived. Two private schools came with fifty members each, and finally forty-five members from Milwaukee School of Art. 注意：
1.续写词数应为150左右； 2.请按如下格式作答。 Paragraph 1：
Then came the turn for my choir.
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_______________________________________________________ Paragraph 2：
After all the choirs had performed, we waited in our assigned room for the results. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3．
（2022·辽宁实验中学模拟预测）
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I sat at my desk and stared at the screen. I waited patiently for ideas to come to me as I tried to think up exam questions for a test I would give my English students. My wife was off to a party somewhere, but I was not alone. Meghan, our 22-month-old angel, kept my company. Yet her plans seemed to go against mine.
She followed a daily routine that was both time-consuming and challenging. It included certain basic tasks: watching the fish, sweeping the floor in her room, climbing up and down on her bed.
At first I was able to concentrate on designing my test paper. But I was soon distracted. I had not expected the arrival of the “bib-bibs”—“bib-bibs” were birds. “Bib-bibs!” Meghan screamed excitedly, her eyes alive with expectation. She insisted that I come with her to the window.
“In a minute. Just let me finish this question.” I said. She pulled me by the hand (two fingers, actually) toward the window. I saw myself as a fool, being led to watch the “bib-bibs”. They sang and leaped back and forth on the lawn just outside our apartment window. Meghan was absorbed, but as I watched them, I still thought about my work. With her attention off me, I left the window and went back to my desk.
Five minutes later, she returned. She reached up to my keyboard and pressed a bunch of keys, adding a long line of scrabbled (乱的) letters to my question. I
struggled to bring my annoyance under control. “No, thank you, Meghan. Daddy’s seen your work. I’ll do it myself.” She backed off. 注意：1.词数150字左右； 2.按照格式在答题卡相应位置作答。 Paragraph 1:
A few minutes later, she stood in front of me with her shoes and socks in her hand.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2:
I finally decided to take Meghan to the park.
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Part 6 高考真题再现
1．2022年新高考1卷
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary
schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route(路线)through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration(懊恼). I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer—that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination. 注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答.
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me.
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I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
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